With schools shut for the foreseeable future to all except the children of critical workers and vulnerable children as the government tries to help stop the spread of Covid-19, you may find yourself struggling to know how best to support your child’s learning from home. Many of us are feeling completely overwhelmed by having to educate our children remotely again, nearly 11 months into the pandemic, often while juggling our own work commitments.
As a parent, it’s only natural to worry about the impact of such disruption on a child’s educational progress and wellbeing. With children of all ages currently out of school with no definitive return date, it is difficult to know what they “should” be achieving on a day-to-day basis and how you can help them get the most out of this unpredictable time. So we spoke to Emma Marshall – a senior school headteacher, and clinical child psychologist Dr Kate Mason, to find out the real impact of this continuing situation on children and their top five tips on how we can really help them.
Emma Marshall
Emma Marshall is headteacher at Havelock academy in Grimsby. Her main focus during the current lockdown is to ensure that parents and students have easy access to all of the tools needed to continue learning online, in a way that supports their needs as a family. She says that although she is a teacher, she also faces real challenges as a mum in overseeing the remote learning of her 12-year-old daughter and 17-year-old son. She recommends:
1 Make it suit your family situation
Everyone’s home situation and setup is different and as a headteacher my priority is to make sure that our parents and students feel supported, and know how to easily access the learning resources provided. Along with live lessons, we’re also putting together paper packs of work for those who would really struggle accessing everything online as we understand that not everyone has the technology, or perhaps it’s just not suitable for their learning style or their family situation. The main thing to remember is that we are here for you, so if something just isn’t working for you or your child with regards to the lessons being provided, tell us so that we can help. Don’t feel you’re alone in this because I guarantee nearly every parent and teacher will be feeling the same in some regards.
2 Prioritise some sort of routine
If nothing else, I would absolutely encourage parents to make sure their kids get up, get showered and dressed and not spend the day in their pyjamas. That way, when they sit down to do some work, it’s mentally like they’re approaching an actual school day. (However, I think putting school uniforms on might be a step too far!) In the first few days of this lockdown I’d return home from work to find our 12-year-old daughter with her laptop, under a duvet and still in her pyjamas. So I said no. Now she knows she must brush her teeth, get washed and dressed and eat something nutritious at a sensible lunchtime – as she would do normally. Because they will have to come back to school at some point. Straying too far from a normal routine and good habits will just make the return to normality even harder.
3 Check in with your child
Talk to your children – ask them how they’re doing and, most importantly, how they’re feeling. Ask them to tell you five things they’ve learned that day. And remember to reward them. It doesn’t have to be with physical rewards, it can just be a “well done” when you can see that they’ve attempted to do something. Praise goes a long way, especially at the moment. Make sure your child knows that they can get in touch with their school with any problems at all – however big or small it seems to them, their teacher will want to know if they’re struggling in any way whatsoever. Encourage daily exercise away from the screen. They may have some amazing online provision but they don’t want to be in front of their screens all day. Getting out and having a walk is really important. Reading a book, engaging with pets and speaking to their friends is all to be encouraged, as much as the home learning.
4 You don’t have to do everything
Don’t try to do everything that the school is setting. I promise that nobody is going to tell you that you’re doing a terrible job. I think it’s important that we think back to our school days and remember the pressure we all felt without the pandemic, so don’t make them try to achieve everything they’ve been set in school, from home. If you could do that, you wouldn’t need school in the first place. Don’t get hung up on it not looking like a normal school day – there’s no way it can do at the moment. As parents, we’re not teachers and experts. Even looking at my daughter’s year 8 maths makes my head spin! My role is to make sure she has somewhere safe and warm to work, that she has some vague routine, and then to say “well done” at the end of each day.
5 Encourage your children to look to the future
I understand why parents, and students, are concerned about the future after all of this, especially those facing exams. My son is due to be off to university hopefully in September. Thankfully he’d worked hard up until this point but now he is a bit like: “Well, I might not even be doing my exams now so is there any point?” We need to keep reminding our children – and ourselves – that the future isn’t cancelled. This will end and things will go back to normal. Encourage them to keep looking forward and thinking about what is happening next. What subjects do they want to take? What are their plans for sixth form? What do they want to do at university? The future isn’t all out of the window, it’s very much just round the corner.
Dr Kate Mason
Dr Kate Mason is a clinical psychologist specialising in children and young people at rootspsychologygroup.co.uk. She understands through her job – and also firsthand as a mother – the impact that the continuing pandemic is having on the wellbeing of our children, and also the stress that it is causing parents. She recommends:
1 Your relationship with your child is your number one priority
Last March, when we went into the first lockdown, my six-year-old just refused to do the home learning, so this time around I decided not to jeopardise my relationship with my son just to get him to do a bit of maths. I really do believe that in the grand scheme of their lifetime’s education, the younger ones especially will bounce back from this relatively short period of instability. Once I started thinking about it like that, I thought it is not worth the constant fallout. I emailed his teacher and said that I would get him to do what I could, but that a good, happy relationship with him is my first priority.
2 Your frustration is coming from a good place
During that time when I was losing it over my inability to make my son do his maths and handwriting, I took a step back and asked myself: “Why am I so angry?” And I realised that I was angry because I was scared. I was scared for his education and that it was going to have a massive impact on his life. Understand that is where your upset and frustration is likely to be coming from – ultimately a good place, a place of love for your child.
3 Keep calm … and make a visual timetable
When children are calm, they are more able to learn. And kids feel calm, safe and contained – and then thrive – when there’s predictability and when they know what is coming next. Make a visual timetable with them peppered with lots of down time and fun stuff and most importantly something to look forward to at the end of the day. It’s vital to keep them looking forward. Treat yourself with calmness and self-compassion too. Remember, you are not their teacher. You can lead a horse to water, you can’t always make it drink. Nearly all children will listen to people who aren’t their immediate family, but they are designed to push your buttons. If this happens stop and take a break. Go and play a game, get their brains to calm down a bit – and only then come back and try again.
4 Ask them for their opinion
Ask your children for their advice: “What do you think I should do in this situation?” The ability to think flexibly isn’t fully mature until a person is 24, so for any child under that age this is a brilliant chance for that part of their brain to mature and for them to learn real life skills. Educating your kids about emotional literacy is, in my opinion, just as important as developing their ability to do things like maths. Some [children’s films] are full of opportunities for you to ask them questions. Pop one on and engage with them by asking: “Why do you think that person feels that way?”; “How would you feel if that was one of your friends?”; “What could you do to help them?” Opportunities to think and talk emotionally will help develop resilience, confidence, compassion and empathy.
5 Congratulate them – and yourself
Telling your children “well done” and reaffirming that you’re proud of them on the daily is so important. But you must congratulate yourself, too. You’re doing your best, you’re doing what you can. I think it’s just as important for parents to remember to look after themselves as well. When you’ve got through a hard day and you’ve only managed to get your kid to read two pages of a book, parents need to congratulate themselves. Don’t feel guilty about taking time out to go and have a bath or a walk, and you should also have something to look forward to at the end of the day, like a series on Netflix [or] a glass of wine. I’m a big advocate of parent sanity. If we’re not firing on all cylinders, how can we expect to be there for them?
Learning at home
The government is investing more than £400m to support disadvantaged children and young people with access to technology through the pandemic, including 1.3m laptops and tablets.
The Department for Education has partnered with some of the UK’s leading mobile network operators to provide free data to disadvantaged families, further supporting remote education where it’s needed. Families will benefit from this additional data until July 2021.
54,000 4G wireless routers have been provided, with free data for the academic year, to support disadvantaged children to access remote education and vital social care services.
For more guidance on remote learning and support for mental health and wellbeing, visit: gov.uk/coronavirus-remote-learning; or: gov.uk/guidance/get-laptops-and-tablets-for-children-who-cannot-attend-school-due-to-coronavirus-covid-19
This advertiser content was paid for by the UK government. All together (Remote education) is a government-backed initiative tasked with informing the UK about the Covid-19 pandemic. For more information, visit gov.uk/coronavirus
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